Take Criticism Like A Champ

“To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing”. -Elbert Hubbard

How do you take criticism?

How long does it take for the things people say to effect you?

Lets face it, if you stumbled upon this post you probably are going through a rough time with some ugly criticism right now. Taking criticism is just hard, the world is full of people who trash other people, out of pure meanness. And no lie, you could easily caught in all of that criticism if you you are taking everything everyone says about you literally! The truth is there is no way to get rid of it, there is just effective ways to live with it.

I have been in this type of situation many times in my life so you are not alone. Throughout the crap I thought up some very effective ways of taking criticism like a champ. Some of these ways are obvious, but a lot of times just stating the obvious is something some people might not even know. Its no easy thing but with practice you can make perfect.

What is criticism?

First off lets define criticism. To me criticism is anything from someone saying that they don’t like your new hair color to your boss not liking your posture. Most of it is not even based from any real fact, its based off of pure opinion and observation. If you are like any oxygen breathing human on planet earth criticism comes a dime a dozen but the truth is a lot of criticism can filtered between two distinct classes.

Identifying the two distinct types

Many people think that all criticism is a bad thing, I very much disagree with that thought. Knowing that all criticism isn’t bad is a method I use.  I believe that there are two distinct  types and both types have the power to build you up to a higher level. The two types of criticisms can be characterized between positive criticism and negative. Criticism will always be with us, its the way you look at it which gives it any power or meaning.

Positive Patricia is my friend

Did you know that there is such thing as positive criticism? Its true trust me, it is definitely a lot easier to take of the two types. What is positive criticism? Positive criticism is constructive criticism. Positive criticism is when a person (usually a friend) lets you know what they think in a motivational way that builds you up. They state what they in a friendly and helpful manor.  Positive Patricia’s are down to earth, they care about you and they will tell you the truth. Positive criticism isn’t always what we want to hear I know, but it is the type of criticism that helps us because it comes with encouragement.

Pointing out things in itself isn’t bad at all as long as there is positivity involved. For example say you are working on an art piece for a local art competition and your friend comes up to you and tells you that she “Likes your drawling but thinks you should maybe put some more color into it”. So to translate, your friend states that what you have on paper is good but what might make it even better is if you added more color. This is the type of criticism that compliments and builds you up this is coming from a spirit of love and care. If your friend didn’t care one bit about you she could easily say its perfect and end up ruining your chances of winning the competition.

Negative Nancy is a bully

Dum dum dah! Alright lets get to what everyone wants to read, the most dreaded of all criticisms! So lets say the situation above is redone, this time its a bit different. This time your friend tells you that “Your drawling is ugly as heck!”. Here is the point where you want to scream! This is an example of negative criticism. Negative criticism is pretty self explanatory like above, its basically a bully’s negative opinion on you or something you do. The reason why we don’t want to hear negative criticism is because nobody wants to hear that they are chopped liver(no offense to people that like that popular dish)! Its natural to feel angry when someone doesn’t like something we put 5 minutes into or 5 hours into. But its un-natural to take it too far.

Regardless of what people say, we tend to take negative criticism a little too seriously! As if what people think contains some sort of absolute truth. One thing that works for me is stating this truth “Criticism cant do physical harm to me”. Its true it cant, In reality its just their opinion and you have one too. You cant change their opinion but you can look like the better guy/girl when negative criticism is shoved in your face.

Looking like the better person is a true way to piss the negative Nancy and discourage them from approaching you again. To do this you have to simply not react to how they would expect you to while they give you hell. If they say your drawling sucks, you simply either smile/ignore them or say “I like it!”. How would you react to this? If I was a bully I would be bored with someone that is immune to my disses and eventually move on to the next weakling.  This is how it was in my case and it worked so many time over.

Negative criticism isn’t about you

Another truth to adopt is realizing that most of the time harsh criticism isn’t about you at all. Its about them. They are un happy and they want to try to bring as many people down with them. The types of people that give this negative criticism don’t care about your overall well being as well as they don’t care to build you up and make you better. Negative Nancey’s don’t care to find the good in you either. They love to bash you because they have some sort of unhappiness so they make it personal and take that out on you. Their main goal in life is to disagree and not meet anywhere in the middle.

Jealous John’s

Sometimes it can be because you are doing something better than then they can. You figured out how to do something and they cant replicate that. So instead of congratulating you on your accomplishments they would rather become jealous and try to bring you down to their sucky level. The truth is these people don’t matter, they are just haters and there are always going to be haters in a group of successful people. If you consciously take everything they say with a grain of salt you will be unaffected. The opposite goes for people that hold on to what these negative people have to say. If you hold on to lies you are going to fall, it makes no sense, its self destruction. You cannot have joy if you are constantly thinking about what others are thinking about you. You are a free being, how is this liberating your freedom?

So in all honestly these types of people can be dismissed right away and are also very easily identifiable. You will realize that the people that are criticizing you are people that are trying to do the same thing as you but fail. Often they can even be people that look up to you but cant seem to get on your level. Their thoughts about you aren’t valid and they contain no real value. Its not about you its about them and you just so happened to come in this bully’s path. Negative Nancey’s and Jealous Johns come with a spirit of hate.

Its all about how you take it

Now that you know the difference between the two types of criticisms, you now can actively decipher between them. One is from love and the other is from hate. You can even tell the difference in the tone of the person that it comes from. Now its okay for someone not to agree with you on something that’s different but they shouldn’t do it in such a way that is hateful. Some times in life people will put us in temporary spin because what they say catches you off guard. You didn’t expect it.

All criticism is “love”

The way I look at all criticism mean, hateful nice whatever is of “love”. The reason I say this is because If a person is taking their precious time to say something useless to me then well its out of “love”. Not love like “in love” but attention. I believe this because its true, they are taking time and putting effort into bashing me! Thanks for caring and thinking about me that much! They could have been doing something else! I know it sounds quite silly but it is what it is, the person is giving me a lot of “love” ha ha! This approach really works quite well plus it is true. Time is money and if you are spending your time on being mean well that’s fine with me, thank you for your time!

Ways to box your critics

Here are some bonus ways and truths to get your boxing gloves on for a clean criticism knock out!

• Use criticism as motivation. Use negative criticism as motivation to be better than you already are. Go above and beyond anyone’s expectations!  Just when people think you are about to reach your peak take it to the next level again! There has been plenty of miracle stories about paralyzed people, where their doctors never thought they would being able to walk but they do anyways! Do the opposite and go big!
• Use criticism as fuel. If someone tells me that i cant do something, they fuel my fire and they allow me  prove them wrong. You have to scrape all negativity and use it to give you that extra boost to succeed! Any successful person contains a whole group of people far behind them that thought he couldn’t do something. By not letting them get the best of you, you rose to the top!
• Don’t set yourself up. Dont purposely look for criticism that’s not going to help anyone!
• Don’t be afraid of it. On that note don’t be afraid of criticism. There will always be some criticism,  you just have to get used to the fact that there is 6.7 billion people on our planet with separate brains and ideas about things. You don’t have to prove a thing to someone if you don’t want to.
• Know the truth. Know that criticism is only an observation.
• Play nice. Be considerate to other peoples beliefs and thoughts. If you want to give them criticism make sure its positive. Don’t purposely try to make people mad either because that is counterproductive and it will come back to you!

Now that you know the difference between the two types of criticisms show some love to someone today and give some positive criticism back to someone that needs it! Doing so will not only show someone that you truly care but also it may rub off and they too will give love to someone else .

Discussion: Have you tried any of the above methods? What are some other way that I didn’t mention that work in fighting criticism?

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Tagged as: bullies, bully, criticism, negative nancy, positive criticism